Hello, my name is Linda Vea Kinikini, and my family hails from the beautiful island nation of Tonga in the South Pacific.  I am grateful and happy to be here with you today as part of the Gathering of Tribes “Sacred Sisters” devotional.

 

Not too long ago, a friend reached out to me about a situation where her younger sister, who had just married in the temple a month earlier, was now contemplating divorce from her newly-minted husband. Both husband and wife had entered the marriage with great hopes and high expectations. There was much they needed to talk about, but at the time, neither the husband nor the wife could agree on how to proceed. They were both deeply hurt and angry. They felt betrayed by the other, and each felt like they were the victim of their current situation. 

 

As I thought about their predicament, I was reminded of a book I had read some years back. Turning to its opening pages, I read again the author’s inspiration for his book. He states, and I quote, “...one fateful morning, as I was sitting engaged in my morning ‘quiet time’ ritual... a moment of surrender surfaced and silently I said to … God… , ‘I am ready to relinquish my Victim stance in the world, but I need to know what is the opposite of Victim?” The Spirit whispered to him, “Creator.”

 

The truth of that revelation left a deep impression upon me. The opposite of Victim is Creator. 

 

The author would go on to share the differences between a victim mindset and a creator mindset. But this truth speaks of more than just a mindset. The opposite of victim is The Creator, Jesus Christ. 

 

Today, I would like to share some simple truths about our Creator, Jesus Christ, and His atonement that I hope will enlighten and elevate any mindset. 

 

Jesus Christ Understands Our Pain & Suffering 

 

First, Jesus Christ understands our pain and suffering. 

 

Pain and suffering have been a common part of this mortal existence. I know of no one who has escaped this marker of mortality. The history of the world, even down to our current day, has been filled with the cries of suffering peoples. 

 

Pain and suffering are not reserved for a certain set of people or individuals. They come to all, regardless of race, ethnicity, gender, socioeconomic status, religion, and yes, even righteousness.

 

During one of the coldest winters on record in the state of Missouri, the prophet Joseph Smith was cruelly, illegally, and unjustifiably incarcerated. In letters written by the prophet, he would describe it as a “hell, surrounded by demons.” Feeling forsaken and forgotten, the prophet Joseph Smith receives this revelation and promise from the Lord: 

 

“And if thou shouldst be cast into the pit, or into the hands of murderers, and the sentence of death passed upon thee; if thou be cast into the deep; if the billowing surge conspire against thee; if fierce winds become thine enemy; if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to hedge up the way; and above all, if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good.”

 

Pain and suffering are not without merit. We can take heart in knowing that whatever the experience, if we will be “faithful in keeping the commandments of the Lord,” it will work in our favor. The Lord Himself was clear about this: “know thou,” He says to his struggling prophet, “all these things… shall be for thy good.”

 

Joseph’s pain and suffering are not foreign to the Lord. From Alma we learn,

 

“... He [went] forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; … that the word might be fulfilled which saith He will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people. And He will take upon him death, that He may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and He will take upon him their infirmities, … that He may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities.”

 

The Lord’s atoning sacrifice, especially in the moments that led to His undeserving crucifixion on the cross, is incomprehensible. Though our pain and suffering may pale in comparison to the pain and suffering endured by the Savior, it does not diminish the agony, sorrow, and sadness we experience. There is no agony, sorrow, sadness, pain, or suffering that “the Savior did not experience first.” Elder Bednar taught, “You and I in a moment of weakness may cry out, ‘No one understands. No one knows.’ No human being, perhaps, knows. But the Son of God perfectly knows and understands, for He felt and bore our burdens before we ever did.” The Savior understands! He came into mortality to do the will of His Father and “chose to learn by His own personal experience,” so that He may “know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities,” thereby fulfilling all the prophecies of His Atonement. Jesus Christ understands our pain and suffering. 

 

The Atonement of Jesus Christ Covers All Pain & Provides What We Need

 

Second, the Atonement of Jesus Christ covers all pain and provides what we need to overcome and endure all of our mortal challenges.

 

Elder David A Bednar taught, “The Savior has suffered not just for our iniquities but also for the inequality, the unfairness, the pain, the anguish, and the emotional distresses that so frequently beset us. There is no physical pain, no anguish of soul, no suffering of spirit, no infirmity or weakness that you or I ever experience during our mortal journey” that is outside the scope of His Atonement.  

 

“Anguish of soul” and “suffering of spirit” aptly describes the year I had in 2022. Late the previous year, my widowed mother had been admitted to the hospital for what seemed to be a minor injury. By the beginning of 2022, my mother’s health began to quickly decline and before we knew it, the situation had become life-threatening. My siblings and I spoke with doctors and counseled often with one another as we tried to understand my mother’s failing condition. Prayers and fasting were offered, petitioning the heavens for a healing intervention.

 

During that same time, my husband and I had two missionaries in the mission field. One was serving domestically and the other internationally. Both missionaries were struggling for different reasons. Calls home were filled with concern, confusion, stress and anxiousness. As parents, we offered our missionaries counsel, reminding them to lean upon and turn more fully to the Lord, affirming to them their ability to do His work. More prayers and fasting were sent heavenward on behalf of our two struggling missionaries. 

 

In the meantime, I was doing all I could to fulfill my callings, attend the temple, and heed to spiritual promptings, among other things, as a sign to God that I was mindful of Him and willingly waiting on Him. By midyear, I would begin receiving answers, but they would not be the answers I had expected nor desired. 

 

In June of that year, my mother would pass away. In July, my first missionary would return home early, of her own accord. By August, my second missionary would return home early, of his own accord. My heart was aching and my mind was reeling. My children and family did not need my pity, disappointment, or frustration, so I looked heavenward for answers to my cried-filled prayers, turning to the Savior with my broken heart and suffering spirit for relief. I felt beaten up by life, but I also felt buoyed up and strengthened by the Lord. In the days that would follow each event, I felt and saw the Lord’s tender mercies in my life as He provided what I needed to move through those events. He had opened my mind, lightened my burdens, softened my heart, and eased my pains.

 

The year was nearing its end and I was looking forward to enjoying the remainder of the year in relative peace. Unfortunately, that October of the same year, I would be diagnosed with breast cancer. It seemed the running theme for this particular time would be to see how many trying events we could fit into a year.

 

I was tired but I knew the Lord was mindful of me because I had seen His hand throughout the year, even though the outcomes were not what I would have wanted. Yet again, I would turn to the Lord and lean upon His atoning sacrifice for me to endure yet another trial. This trial would reveal yet another truth. 

 

Because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, We Can Learn from our Experiences and Be Transformed. 

 

Third, “because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, we can learn from our experiences without being condemned,” but perhaps more importantly, because of the atonement of Jesus Christ, we can learn from our experiences and be transformed.

 

Elder Joaquin E. Costa of the Seventy taught, “One of the mistakes we often make is to think that keeping covenants, or the promises we make to God, is somehow a transaction we make with Him… Our covenants are not merely transactional; they are transformational.”

 

By the time I was diagnosed with breast cancer in October 2022, I was emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually spent. I was exhausted and my faith was tender. For the first time that year, I had no tightly held desires to present before the Lord. Previously that year, whether I knew it or not, I was treating my relationship with God like it was a “cosmic vending machine” where I was selecting desired blessings, inserting the required sum of good works, and expecting the order to be promptly delivered.  Instead, my heart and mind were now more inclined to understanding the Will of the Lord, rather than having the Lord understand my will. Oh, how grateful I am for the gift of repentance and the opportunity to be changed. 

 

On my knees, in answer to my prayers, I received two clear but small impressions: (1) I would be okay and (2) there would be no chemotherapy. I tucked that in the back of my mind and proceeded with the testing and doctor’s visits that would follow. 

 

Subsequently, surgery was recommended to remove the mass they had found. Because it was a small mass, the doctors were optimistic the surgery would take care of most of the cancer and I would not need to do chemotherapy. I was content. This was in line with the impressions I had received. 

 

I went in for surgery. The 45-minute procedure turned into a little more than 2 hours. Out of surgery, the doctors provided me with somber news. They found more cancer than they had anticipated and they were afraid it was spreading. Recommendation now was 18 rounds of chemotherapy and eight rounds of radiation. I was taken back. This was not what I had expected. I remembered the impressions I had received from the Lord and held onto them.  

 

I began timidly declining chemotherapy. My doctors were not happy with me. My husband was not happy with me. Why would I not consider something that would extend my life? Admittedly, I was afraid that by not doing chemotherapy, one of the very real possibilities would be that I would lose my life. I tried to somehow share the impressions I had received from the Lord in a way my doctors and loved ones would understand, but to no avail. I was beginning to doubt myself and fear was creeping in. Looking back, I realize now those impressions were not for them. They were for me. What would I choose to do?  

 

For a little over a month, I went back and forth to the Lord in prayer seeking answers and patiently waiting on Him. At the beginning of the following year, my doctors were needing an answer. Once again, I went to the Lord in prayer, desperate for a reply. 

 

At one point in that particular prayer, something occurred to me. I was asking the Lord the same question I had asked Him before, and He had already given me an answer. Here I thought I was patiently waiting on the Lord, when in reality the Lord was waiting patiently on me. What would I choose to do?

 

With that sudden awareness, my prayer changed from one seeking answers to one seeking forgiveness. On my knees, I fully leaned into the answers the Lord had already provided me. I understood the possible outcomes of my choice, but I trusted the Lord, even if it would cost me my life. When I leaned into those answers, I felt a power from the Lord that Elder Ulisses [Soares] described as “covenant confidence” or as a friend recently reminded me, “God-fidence.” 

 

With that new confidence, I would decline the recommendations for chemotherapy and radiation. The new treatment recommendations would include CTs or head-to-toe body scans every six months to detect cancer. I have had at least three of those scans in subsequent years and each scan result has shown “no abnormalities, no cancer”. 

 

My testimony and faith in the Lord has grown. But I submit to you, my testimony and my faith were not increased on the back of the miraculous outcomes. To this day I have no idea what the Lord has in store for me. Maybe the cancer will come back, maybe not. What I do know is that regardless of the outcomes, the sum of my experiences during that trying year left me a changed person. My witness of and my relationship with the Lord has deepened, allowing me to face my challenges with greater faith, confident in the Lord and His wisdom.

 

President Brigham Young explains a similar understanding. He said: “My faith is not placed … upon the favors [the Lord] bestows upon this people or upon that people, neither upon whether we are blessed or not blessed, but my faith is placed upon the Lord Jesus Christ, and my knowledge I have received from him.”

 

Our efforts matter to the Lord, but not for the reasons we may think. Elder D. Todd Christofferson offers this added understanding: “Our repentance and obedience, our service and sacrifices do matter.…  But it is not so much because of some tally kept in celestial account books. These things matter because they engage us in God’s work and are the means by which we can collaborate with Him in our own transformation from natural man to saint.”

 

Our experiences in mortality are not meant to be punitive. They are meant to be transformative. 

  

Jesus Christ Knows You and Loves You 

 

Finally, it is vitally important that you know Jesus Christ knows and loves you.

 

The word “victim” comes from the Latin noun victima and was anciently used to refer to a sacrificial offering or object. Although many other modern-day languages maintain this meaning in their use of the word, that meaning has become hidden in our modern-day English language. In its original use of the word, the word “victim” has deep religious meaning, perfectly and ironically describing our Savior Jesus Christ.

 

“... [He] bare our sins in his own body…” “... He hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows… He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon Him; and … His stripes … and the Lord hath laid on Him the iniquity of us all. He was oppressed, and He was afflicted,... He was taken from prison and from judgment:… for He was cut off out of the land of the living: for the transgression of my people was He stricken… ; [but] He had done no violence….”

 

The expression of the Father’s Love is in His Son, and the expression of the Son’s love for us is in His atoning sacrifice for us, for “greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends”.

 

Elder Patrick Kearon provides this added insight: “God is in relentless pursuit of you. He wants all of His children to choose to return to Him, and He employs every possible measure to bring you back. [Under the direction of a] loving Father, the Savior [created] this very earth for the express purpose of providing an opportunity for you and for me to have the stretching and refining experiences of mortality, the chance to use our God-given moral agency to choose Him, to learn and grow, to make mistakes, to repent, to love God and our neighbour, and to one day return home to Him.”

 

This is indeed the intent of the Father and His Son, and a deep expression of their great love for each and every one of us. 

 

Mortality is difficult. Our experiences include pain and suffering and may leave us feeling like we are the victims of our current situations. But I testify to you that Jesus Christ understands our pains and sufferings. His Atonement covers all our afflictions that they may be used for our benefit, transforming us so that we might be able to live with Them some day. They are relentlessly pursuing us because They love us. May we remember these truths as we make our way through this mortal life is my hope and prayer for us. 

 

In the sacred and holy name of our Savior and Redeemer, even the Great Creator Himself, Jesus Christ, Amen.